I spent the first 22 years of my life around guns in the swing state of Pennsylvania where schools closed for the first day of buck and doe season. I experienced responsible gun ownership and felt safe around them. After my grandfather passed, I arrived his the service just in time to participate in a 10 gun salute. When I visit home, I stay in the family hunting cabin filled with rifles and handguns, but there is not an assault weapon in sight. I’ve had a concealed carry permit. 

I’m not anti-gun. I’m pro common sense. I’m anti anyone-can-have-any-kind-of-gun-they-want, anytime they want. I’m pro “with great power comes great responsibility.”

Over the next 5 days, I grated small amounts of ginger into his meals to stimulate his agni - his digestive fire. I made date shakes rather than cold milkshakes. I cooked up an Ayurvedic version of vanilla “rice pudding” to mimic Mom’s old recipe he loves. I knew what to make him because I’d just answered this question in my Ayurvedic Health Advisor Program at Hale Pule: How should clients eat during illness?

I was hesitant to try ghee at first because doctors had told me to “stay away from dairy”. When Ayurveda invited me to see what happened (using cause and effect) when I allowed myself to cook with 1-2 tablespoons of ghee per person, per meal, I was like “y’all are crazy!”. But I tried it, and loved it. The color, smell, taste, and the effects are extraordinary. Everything is moister and yummier - including me!

I was young and wanted to be alive in the world, but felt half dead. A naturally gregarious person who loves to joke around, I was having trouble looking people in the eye because I was too ashamed of my face. I was hiding when all I wanted was to be free. When I changed my college major from graphic design to history – and then began reading about all the shit things humans have done to each other over the ages – this added to my distress. I felt sad, angry, anxious, disgusting and depressed. It was like being sucked into a blackhole. But it was the mid 90s, and we got a pill for that. When I was 20, they started me on Zoloft and then Wellbutrin. That should fix it, right?!? 

What is happening in Gaza strains the limits of human understanding. How could this happen? What must have already happened to create the conditions that would allow this to happen?

Asking questions like this is normal –and also potentially dangerous. Normal because as humans we want to “wrap our (logical) minds around” situations that seem beyond our ability to fathom. Dangerous because to do so can come with costs to our mental health.