A Declaration of Independence for a child is a death sentence. “I did this all by myself” and “I can only count on myself” are lies that create a kind of isolation that destroys our very bodily cells. The remnants of rugged individualism have left us with sharp edges that cut the connections around us that could be used as lifelines. Because with “I don’t need you” and “I’m all alone” running in the background, it’s easier to understand the sense of isolation that precedes mass shootings and suicides.

Over the next 5 days, I grated small amounts of ginger into his meals to stimulate his agni - his digestive fire. I made date shakes rather than cold milkshakes. I cooked up an Ayurvedic version of vanilla “rice pudding” to mimic Mom’s old recipe he loves. I knew what to make him because I’d just answered this question in my Ayurvedic Health Advisor Program at Hale Pule: How should clients eat during illness?

I watched on Sunday mornings as folks rose up out of the pews and walked down the aisle to have Pastor Helen lay his hands on their shoulders and heads. He would say words over them, his chin lifted, his eyes closed. I heard the gentle sounds of the congregation as they called out amens and the name of Jesus.