I was young and wanted to be alive in the world, but felt half dead. A naturally gregarious person who loves to joke around, I was having trouble looking people in the eye because I was too ashamed of my face. I was hiding when all I wanted was to be free. When I changed my college major from graphic design to history – and then began reading about all the shit things humans have done to each other over the ages – this added to my distress. I felt sad, angry, anxious, disgusting and depressed. It was like being sucked into a blackhole. But it was the mid 90s, and we got a pill for that. When I was 20, they started me on Zoloft and then Wellbutrin. That should fix it, right?!? 

What is happening in Gaza strains the limits of human understanding. How could this happen? What must have already happened to create the conditions that would allow this to happen?

Asking questions like this is normal –and also potentially dangerous. Normal because as humans we want to “wrap our (logical) minds around” situations that seem beyond our ability to fathom. Dangerous because to do so can come with costs to our mental health.