Ghosts of the Past: The Haunting Power of Ideas & the Unfinished Business of History

Edinburgh Underground Vaults. We were cautioned not to step into the circle. I heeded the warning.

Last week Glenn and I returned from Scotland 6 days into our first official bout of covid. We were miserable. The first week of our trip was extraordinary, but the last felt like a curse. After all, we had toured Edinburgh’s underground vaults and stood in the chamber local witches abandoned because they warned it was too malevolent to be used in ceremony. Yikes. 

Scotland’s past is riddled with acts of inhumanity that felt close to the surface as we stood on the castle esplanade where in 1500 and 1600s hundreds of mostly women were strangled and then burned as witches. I didn’t need whisky to feel the heat in my skin as my mind reached back to those moments. 

We know they came for the women who harnessed the power of their voice and the natural world. They harassed, accused, put metal cages with tongue depressors on their heads, interrogated and destroyed them because they feared the wisdom they possessed. They labeled and killed them – and their cats. 

Hunted. Tortured. Tormented. Bedeviled. History can haunt us. Ideas can haunt us. Unsolved issues, well, you know. What anguishes you? 

What ideas, thoughts, beliefs – curses and spells – have been placed upon us by others – and by the  beguiling part of ourselves? Tis the season to ask such questions is it not?

Covid must have already invaded as we toured Edinburgh Castle. I felt disembodied and a sense of unease, haunted by a virus and what I’d learned and experienced that day. When I think back now on the experience I was having, my thoughts come to my thoughts, thoughts I shared with Glennard at the time. Thoughts I was not proud of…

I kept noticing people, and thinking how ugly they were. I kept noticing myself noticing how peoples faces were not as beautiful as I’m used to in beautiful Bend, Oregon. Then I noticed I was noticing mainly the men. I felt an aversion, a repugnance. I noticed how ugly I felt inside having such thoughts. 

The historian who led our tour was fantastic, and one thing he mentioned was that women considered beautiful were often targeted by witch hunters—being seen as attractive could actually be dangerous during that time. My mind remembered phi, the golden ratio, and the role it plays in creating objective beauty in the human face. 

I noticed my inner asshole, the sadistic judge, say I was lucky to have a face that lined up with the math better than others. I also thought I was lucky I didn’t live in the 16th century because my mouth (and maybe my face) could have been pretty tempting for the local incels. And I noticed how ugly I felt inside having such thoughts. 

But, I knew these thoughts were not mine. I didn't actually believe them. They were blasting through like the Scottish wind. My mind was trying to make sense of my cumulative experiences, and I know my mind well enough to know I’m 100% against assessing others based on their appearance, and yet I am familiar with the part of me that does sometimes. After all, I was an American girl. But then I stopped myself, a moment of truth, I actually do believe people are ugly – and cruel! There it was. I said it. 

How does a child exorcise that idea?

PC: Library of Congress. 

Not all people all the time. But all people some of the time. And some people more than others. You can’t be a history major and not get that. People fueled by fear, people in pursuit of power for power's sake turn into devils and monsters – and create witches in their own image. 

I didn’t want to be carrying around thoughts like these. Thinking them felt like a curse. Having ugly, harmful, hateful thoughts can be a curse. A curse upon families. A curse upon nations.

Ideas can quietly occupy our minds like a haunting presence, lingering in the background and subtly influencing our thoughts, feelings, and actions without us even noticing. Over time, they may become so familiar that we fail to question their existence. 

Some ideas are like benevolent spirits, offering light, comfort, and inspiration, while others resemble malevolent entities, instilling fear, anxiety, or self-sabotage and undermining our confidence. We may not realize an idea has taken root until something goes "bump in the night"—a moment of crisis, an unexpected emotional reaction – an election – or a surprising behavior that suddenly exposes the hidden influence, forcing us to confront the reality of its hold on us.

Ideas like –“Women are inferior. Blacks/immigrants are vermin. My true value comes from being desirable.” – are insidious. 

When we become aware of an idea haunting us, it can be like waking up to find that we’re not alone in the room. The recognition can be jarring, but it also presents an opportunity to understand where this idea came from, whether it serves us, and how to live with—or banish—it.  And some ideas, much like restless spirits, remain because they represent unresolved issues or emotions. Perhaps they come from the ancestors?  Until we confront the underlying source, or generational pain, they continue to disturb us. 

Allowing ourselves to see these thoughts and bringing them to light can help us understand their origins and free ourselves from their grip, just as resolving a ghost’s unfinished business can restore peace.

PC: BB

Do the spirits of the women who burned have unfinished business? I’d bet they do. I’d argue we are here to work to help finish their business – our business! The veil can thin when we use our minds to reach back into the past and tap into the collective minds of our ancestors. 

I’ve spent years of my life in that mind space. I’ve lived in the past. Our ancestors' minds, ideas, thoughts, feelings, preferences, opinions and beliefs have flowed from them into me and us. Their pleasure and pain can become ours without our permission. We can be haunted by history. 

We can exorcize ourselves and support others, too. We can bust the old ghosts of misogyny that rattle their chains when we look in the mirror. We can invoke the sacred names of white witches as we make our voices heard at city council and school board meetings and the ballot box. We can show them how we burn. 

Closing thought: Why does the male demographic seem to be having such a hard time supporting Kamala Harris? What are the insidious thoughts most are not willing to admit they are haunted by? Call it mommy issues or misogyny…

Let's show them how we burn.